When in Africa, it would be simply criminal, not to sample of her bounty - and this is true for weed (dagga) too.

In a little town, somewhere in Namibia (won't tell, in case interpol tries to track me down), I accosted two black youths who seemed to be aimlessly standing around, as youths all over the world do.

"Know where I can buy some dagga?" for a moment, confused shock stupified them both: I guessed its a) because I'm a white woman, on my own, in the middle of a township, dressed like an alien with dayglo jacket and giant metalclad boots and b) Despite my alien appearance, I spoke to them in their own language.

Always positive, I didn't take the fact that they worldlessly turned tail and walked away from me, as a sign that my request somehow offended them, and they were off to get the police.

Note to self: if you ARE going to get involved in clandestine activity, try not to involve innocent young people.

Minutes later, however, they appeared with another gentleman who greeted me enthusiatically. "Yes, yes! No problem" he smiled, "but lets not talk here, the police is watching you." He gestured to my left.

To my horror, only yards away and definitely within earshot, the occupants of dirty grey bakkie I'd been ignoring, were watching my goings on with interest.

Another note to self: don't quit the day job, you'll suck as a criminal.

And then, uncontrollably, I do that stupid girly thing that comes naturally when I'm a bit embarassed or caught red-handed - wave at them and giggle nervously. About as subtle as starting to WHISTLE ! Forgodsake!

Despite my mimicing of "Worlds Dumbest Criminal" the 'transaction' is completed at the petrol station without incident. I hand over NAM$5 (about 50p) and my hands are stuffed with 5 thick pork sausage sized wads, tightly rolled in newspaper.

I stuff them in my tankbag and we take off. Non-chalant as I try and be about these things (especially in front of John) I can't help but throw a periodical glance over my shoulder for the next 15 minutes or so - to check for that grey bakkie, in hot pursuit of the XT International Criminal Gang.

(What exactly I would have done if we WERE being followed, I cant begin to imagine)

tbc