Just how dodgy the combination of two-way radios, piles of cash, two passports (I have dual nationality) leather gloves and a helmet can look, did not occur to me, until much later, in a police station in Dubai.

To avoid a boring and calm life, I tend to procrastinate things until the very, very last minute.

Which is why, at 9 am on the morning of departure - I hadn't packed a single thing yet. A cab was picking me up at 12pm for the airport.

4 hours to pack - that is absolute YEARS!

Which it WOULD have been - only, I also had to complete the transaction for selling the GSXR, put my Duke's battery on trickle charge, clean the oil I spilt from the side walk (the neighbours might sue), wait for the delivery of the helmet camera, disassemble the bike2bike radio kit, find matching socks, sort out a sitter for the kitten, find suitable bags to pack in, find bike gloves, buy travel insurance.

Did I mention a last minute assignment to get 12 hi-res photos uploaded for a magazine layout?

Everything would have been fine - if only the THINGS I had to pack, didn't turn out to be so DAMN BIG! You would NEVER believe how ENORMOUS a helmet can be-- when you're trying to fit it, into a bag! Add to that my MX boots - which, nomatter how many times I SAT on them, just WOULD NOT cram into a suitcase!

Are my feet really THAT big?

I briefly considered WEARING my helmet onto the plane. Surely the rules don't prohibit you from wearing head gear... what about all those Sikhs and Muslim ladies with veils?! I could seriously make a case for Biker's Rights to wear Helmets onto planes.

However - the thought of having to try and eat my airline meal through my visor gap, dissuaded me. Helmet, has to go IN the bag.

I finally, after having packed and repacked into several different configurations of luggage and an assortment of bags, had a semblance of order... if I WORE my MX boots and my bike jacket, I managed to just about cram everything into two bags.

At 11.45am the cab hooted. GODAMMIT! Why are they always early when you least need it!

It was when I did the final check - and grabbed the money - that I realised a terrible error in judgement. If you think a helmet is difficult to pack - try putting £6,000 in twenties, in your wallet!

Shit! I tried stuffing the notes into my pockets - but these were already occupied with an assortment of make-up and toiletries. DAMN the airlines that only allow ONE hand luggage!!

I finally tore open one of the cases, and stuffed the notes in a big pile in the bottom. The radios! I tore my and Gigi's helmet radios out of our helmets, grabbed the charger and stuffed the whole pile of spaghetti in the bottom of the bag - together with the money.

Just how dodgy the combination of two way radios, piles of cash, two passports (I have dual nationality) leather gloves and a helmet can look, did not occur to me, until much later, in a police station in Dubai.